*slowly turns around and seductively smiles*
I know exactly you want…
…Yes, that image. Exactly that one. That I…won’t think about later when I’m alone.
Ha, I think I can do a little better than that. Maybe for now we could carry things from the other that mean a lot to us? You don’t have to wear them, but…I could give you my dog tags.
No me neither. Especially nothing involving you fucking me over the side of the kitchen counter or anything.
Really? Are you sure? I’d love that. This is probably weird, but…I have this diamond stud I don’t wear very much because I’m afraid of losing it but…it’s really special to me. What if I turned it into a necklace? Very Breakfast Club, don’t you think?
Now there’s an image I can get behind. You know, uh…literally.
But I…yeah, I think it does. How cool is that?
What, you coming home to me in an apron and heels -and nothing else- bending over to pull your cake out of the oven? Yeah…I could definitely see that.
Very cool. A twist tie will suffice as our ring for now, don’t you think?
See, that makes me want to marry you even more ‘cause I love the Muppets. And you. And I really want that someday. Maybe when we’re out of here so you, me, and Sammy can get a place together.
I’d really like that. You, me, a dog and a picket fence. I’ll bake you cakes and wear an apron and heels and everything.
So in the meantime…does that mean we’re sort of, unofficially engaged?
Really? I…oh wow. Okay. But…I’m gonna wait. Ask you proper and give it some more time in case you get sick of me. But…I’d want to. Marry you. Very much.
Why on earth would I get sick of you? Oh, Colin. Your modesty astounds me sometimes. I love you. Maybe we haven’t been together for eons, but I really can’t think of anything better than a life spent with you- hand in hand with a friend, as the esteemed Kermit the Frog put it in Muppets Take Manhattan. References like that are what you have to look forward to if you’re serious about this whole getting married thing.
Do you really mean that or do you just want me to stop whining?
I mean it, Sebastian.
Yeah? Okay. I just…I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything like, “Oh god, this guy’s thinking about how he’d like to marry me, I guess I gotta settle for him or let him down easy.”
Hush, don’t think that. I love you very much. It’s a really big commitment, but…I love you and you love me. You’re kind and selfless. You make me happy. The idea of marrying you isn’t one that I’m objecting to…I’ll just say that.
Because… I was trying to accept that and be okay with it while still being your friend if nothing else, but then it was like, “Oh, well…guess what else, Sebastian? We can’t even be friends because I’ve decided you’re clearly too busy, so…bye.” It just compounded the shit from before and made it all a million times harder to deal with.
I know. I’m sorry, that was a shitty thing for me to have done. It doesn’t matter if we spend 10 minutes together or a whole day, it doesn’t matter if you talk to me once a week or every hour of every day, I’ll be content with having you in my life, however it has to work.
I know… Even though I think they should have, but…I do. If you’re sure that doesn’t freak you out. I know I keep moving pretty fast and I’m not…I’d want to ask proper, so I’m not trying to back you into a corner or anything, I just… Damn. I’m going to be quiet now.
No, please don’t be quiet. Don’t ever stop talking, I like listening to you. Or reading you, in this case. It doesn’t freak me out, perse, it’s just…different, I suppose. Like I said, I never thought anyone would want to…now it’s becoming more of a reality for me. I think most people have time to let that sink in to the point where they’re ready to start planning and booking honeymoon stuff and whatever, but for me it’s just…I don’t even know where to start. Does that make sense?
I know, but I just… I hate that it makes you feel like there’s just no place for you at all in my life. That just…I don’t know. That makes me feel like shit because I want you in my life but I feel like over and over again it always falls on my shoulders because I can’t give enough. Maybe I am spread too thin to be any good to anyone, I don’t know, but I just…I love a lot of people and I hate that it causes so many problems and costs me people I love. That doesn’t seem right somehow, but that’s how it happens.
I don’t know what to say. With you, I found that I needed something different when it came to having a romantic relationship. I know it’s selfish, but I needed it. I wasn’t going to be completely happy until I came first and…only, really, for someone else. You couldn’t do that, Sebastian, and it’s not your fault. So I had to end this. That was the logical, healthy thing to do for both our sakes. Why does it have to be this awful thing that you feel you have to take a responsibility for?