I know… I get it.
I’m not trying to make you feel bad. You’ll always be my first love and I’ll never stop loving you completely. But this is just the way it has to be.
I think that sounds beautiful, Kurt… I think you should have it exactly as you want it.
What about you? You must have some idea of what you want…?
I didn’t mean it like…that strictly. That it would be the only reason. Just that you’d really fall for him and who he is, the qualities he has, and maybe you’d realize, “Hey, this is everything I ever wanted and then some.” Whereas I just…I dunno. I didn’t inspire that, maybe. I don’t know. I’m not tying to imply anything, I’m really not. I’m not trying to question your love or feelings for him. I’m just feeling sorry for myself so I’ll stop because none of it’s coming out right and I just sound like a colossal jackass. You can’t be with me regardless so it doesn’t really matter.
Sebastian…if you didn’t inspire feelings like that it’s because you couldn’t. I couldn’t think of you in terms of that because…I couldn’t make you my everything when I was only a fraction of your life.
No? I’m sad to hear that. Do you…think you’d ever start to think of what you might like? I mean just…you know, hypothetically, maybe.
Uhmm…I don’t know…something simple. Tasteful. As much as I like being stared at, not too many people, you know? This should be kind of private and intimate. It could be outside. I’m thinking maybe at night? With candles, or some kind of soft glow. What if it was sort of a…starry night theme?
I wasn’t trying to imply that…
Maybe not, but that’s kind of what that would mean, wouldn’t it? If I was with him because he was the opposite of you- that wouldn’t be real love. And I really do love Colin.
Yeah? Do you have a dream wedding in mind?
Heh, no, not really. Even though I’ve always sort of wanted to, I never actually thought it would happen so I didn’t give it much thought.
Aside from, you know…being at a place with someone I love, pledging my love to him. That’s as far as the fantasy gets and, really, all that matters.
Okay. I’m sorry. I won’t ask anymore questions about him or your relationship.
No, it’s okay, you can…I just don’t appreciate the implication that my love for him isn’t legitimate.
No, no not at all.
What about you?
Marriage? I…well, I definitely want to. Eventually…
I wasn’t trying to say that you were, Kurt… I just meant maybe you’d met this person, realized you really liked him, and realized like…a big part of why is because he’s so different. I’m sorry if that pisses you off, but…I guess I just wondered. I wouldn’t even blame you if you did, I just…wanted to know.
Well, no, I don’t feel that way, Sebastian, just like you don’t love anyone because they’re the opposite of someone else.
Oh no, not altogether, just with him. I still like the idea of marriage. A lot, actually.
Okay…sorry, I know that’s probably a weird question to ask…